There's always a way.

hello, AGAIN.. hahaa..

it's been a while since I post the last one... I wanna post something new really but ..... lately, my hands are too lazy to type, my head is to dizzy to think.. and I am too depress to do anything.. why why and why ?? because .... lately, almost everybody ask me where would you go after school graduate ..?? what university ? where ? who else ? ... the hot topic in my school lately is all about university... I just wanna scream : can you cut it out please ????? the more you ask me the more I think about it, the more I get dizzy... it's really frustating when all people have know where they gonna get in to.. and the have buy form or anything to get themselves in to their dream univ..
and that time I just can stare at them and my head start to get dizzy.

haha.. you guys maybe wondering why on earth in this post I write all of it in English Language..
you may laugh.. but know, I'm practicing my English.. I know it's not good, I'm not really good at Language like my sister, but at least I try.. haha
I have to get practice with myself because I don't take English course like my friends.. I don't have time.. my schedule is too much. and my only sister who is great at English doesn't have time to teach me. I understand she have many works to do.. so I just can practice with my self and hope when I do my placement test, I will get great mark.. amen.. :D

here's a thing .. Just a week ago, I knew nothing, I was kinda lost. because I didn't even know what university I will choose.. many friends of mine said to me I should got in to the cheapest and easy to got in university...

but I keep think about this.. my mind is spining.. this isn't right. I try so hard at school just to get into the easy one where my friends already got themselves in, is this right ???

In this post I want to tell you guys about last wednesday.. I'm so blessed to have that day.. it's all because my sister visited a university in Jababeka. That university isn't commercial.. just a simple university in natural spot. and that night I found this graduation book in her bag. I started to read it. and God,, my heart is beating so fast when I read that simple book.. it's a list of people who graduate there... just a little number of people.. but when I read and I read.. I feel that it's so interesting..

And that night I decided I'm going to try ........

that night.. I pray to God.: " God, please if you want me to get into that school, when I call that university, I may have a chance to study at least 3 month before the placement test.. and if the placement test is over by this month and I can't have the placement test, it's means You don't want me there. "... funny thing to pray to. but that was the thing I said. and after I pray I go to my bed and sleep.

Next morning I keep thinking about it. and when school is over .. I don't know how or why ..it's magically happen.. I walk into my math teacher desk in the teacher office and I spoke to her.. "Mam,can you teach me math for my university test, please ?" (fyi : honestly, I really scare to talk to her, because it's kinda hard to speak to such a great woman, hahahaha, but I believe God has give me streght.. haha)... and she just say " OK, why don't you just come to my house next week and we'll start study.. free..".... Honestly.. I'm kinda shock.. hahaha.. but I think I have done the right thing .. She can help me.. no doubt on it ! :D

When the school is over, I just want to run to my home .. hahaha ( it's a bit hyperactive maybe...)
and when I get home.. I call the number of that university to ask about their placement test.
AND.... they will have placement test until next year's July.. wow.. I feel relief... I just can say " God, if this is your way let it be.." :DD

when i get home that day.. I pray to God.: " God, please if you want me to get into that school, when I call that university, I may have a chance to study at least 3 month before the placement test.. and if the placement test is over by this month and I can't have the placement test, it's means You don't want me there. "... funny thing to pray to. but that was the thing I said. I call that university and ask them about that placement test...

and the funny thing is....
Yesterday, when I went to church.. I have a wonderfull experience..
I feel like finally I have found something... what I want to do.. what I have to do ..
and I knew that I was not lost.
my Brothers have graduated from that university in Jababeka. and they filmed the video of their graduation.. wow.. and when my pastor told us that she have spoken to the rector and knew the reason why that school was firm... my heart started to beat again.. I looked at the video and I can imagine that one day.. I will stand in that place.. smile proudly.. no more cry no more cry.. hahahaha... to much imagination in my head.. :D I can't describe it with the write sentences..

and that's how I decided to pick one of three university that I might choose..
Please pray for me guys... I will try for the best.. I know nobody born stupid.. but angry is stupid.. hahahahha

love,

ermess..